A couple months after I discovered B. was physically attracted to Pam, he told me he liked her, emotionally as well. This is 10 times worse than liking her just physically. We were laying in bed, ready to fall asleep, and he drops the news on me. He explains that it is nothing compared to what he feels for me. He loves me, not her, do I understand that?
I did not understand that. I was silent for about 10 or 15 minutes, I said nothing. Then I stormed out of the bedroom and got into my regular clothes. It was about 1 or 2 in the morning, but I didn't care. I had to get away from there. He asked me where I was going and I said I didn't know, I just have to get out of here. He said he'll go with me, he didn't want anything to happen to me late at night. I told him I don't want him near me, but he insisted, he said there is no way I am going to let you out at night by yourself right now.
I sat on the couch and waited for him. His room mate, J. was still up. I was sitting on the couch sobbing and I felt a hand on my shoulder.
"Hey, are you okay?" J. asked.
"He likes my friend" I sobbed.
I'm not sure if J. knew who I was talking about, although he has met Pam before. He said he would take me home. I didn't want to go home at that time, I just wanted to walk. I asked if he could just walk with me, but B. insisted that he should go instead.
We walked for a little while. I fumed and sobbed, and he trailed behind. When I started ranting, he tried explaining. That even though he likes her, it doesn't mean he doesn't love me. I tried to understand. After a while, we went back and sat on his front steps.
I started getting these horrible pains in my side. I climbed back into bed and waited for the pain to subside while B. brought me Advil. I didn't hold him that night. My world had just shattered because I held on to that ideal that love has only room for one person. When we were sitting on the stoop, he told me that my ideal was wrong. The minute he said that, he confirmed that my world was a sham, it was a farce, it then ceased to exist.
I did not understand that. I was silent for about 10 or 15 minutes, I said nothing. Then I stormed out of the bedroom and got into my regular clothes. It was about 1 or 2 in the morning, but I didn't care. I had to get away from there. He asked me where I was going and I said I didn't know, I just have to get out of here. He said he'll go with me, he didn't want anything to happen to me late at night. I told him I don't want him near me, but he insisted, he said there is no way I am going to let you out at night by yourself right now.
I sat on the couch and waited for him. His room mate, J. was still up. I was sitting on the couch sobbing and I felt a hand on my shoulder.
"Hey, are you okay?" J. asked.
"He likes my friend" I sobbed.
I'm not sure if J. knew who I was talking about, although he has met Pam before. He said he would take me home. I didn't want to go home at that time, I just wanted to walk. I asked if he could just walk with me, but B. insisted that he should go instead.
We walked for a little while. I fumed and sobbed, and he trailed behind. When I started ranting, he tried explaining. That even though he likes her, it doesn't mean he doesn't love me. I tried to understand. After a while, we went back and sat on his front steps.
I started getting these horrible pains in my side. I climbed back into bed and waited for the pain to subside while B. brought me Advil. I didn't hold him that night. My world had just shattered because I held on to that ideal that love has only room for one person. When we were sitting on the stoop, he told me that my ideal was wrong. The minute he said that, he confirmed that my world was a sham, it was a farce, it then ceased to exist.
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